How to Respond to That: Part Deux
My respond was YesRemember your first diving lesson when you were a kid? When you were told that humans -unlike fish- cannot breathe under water, and you were told to inhale and fill your chest with air before your dive? -- My answer felt quite the same, systematically speaking, it was easy. I gasped for breath, closed my eyes hoping for the best, and said "Yes, I'll do it"
I'd hate to burst your bubble, but unlike what many of you thought, it is really out of character for me to seek the opinion of my surroundings for matters concerning a lifetime commitment to another person, you should've known me better =) I think a matter with that kind of scale and dimension deserves to be addressed -for the most part- in places beyond a cyber blog.
Nonetheless, I'd be lying to you if I said that that the outcome of this conversation and how I felt about it didn't make me reflect on the more private and personal corners of my thoughts, and my theory did hold merit: we tend to pursue what we cannot have, which is ridiculous really because in our pursuit we often overlook perfect alternatives who have always been there waiting for a speck of attention, but opportunity never struck in their course. I started thinking of those people and extrapolated many streams of thoughts built on what if, and what would.. and I'm still thinking.
My thoughts -however- are now scrambled by the misfortunate events relating to my equestrian interests. They often say "when it rains, it pours", I'd hate to think that this is true for all miserable things, ..and even if it were, I'd hate to submit to it in weakness. My sister tells me that all will be alright, and that I'll find a way to reach my jumping aspirations with or without a trainer. After a prolonged Dr.Phil style phone conversation, I summed up my courage to go saddle up my pony and walk him to a closed arena to lift the jumping bar up a notch to a new high in front an audience of 1: my maid, who was filming on video -I thought to myself if anything, now more than ever the camcorder is most important- After every 2 or 3 jumps I'd stop to watch those videos to see what I did wrong, or how I could fix my style or this or that. By the end of the evening, every-single-muscle in my body throbbed and screamed STOP, & I did.
She was right, ..my sister was right. I could do it on my own, even though the trained will no longer be there. But I more than anyone else know what it's like to learn something completely on your own -No one said anything was impossible, it just takes longer, much longer when you're on your own. I often wish I had my own place, with it's own indoor arena and get a trainer of choice to train me beyond my own limits.
My attempts to brain-wash my parents into building 4-stables in our place are at 70% {I really hope they're not joking nor agreeing to it for the fun of seeing me flutter around with heart-eyes}, but I have a feeling they'll neverrrrr buy into creating an indoor-arena *sob sob sob*
*sigh*
Nevermind, whatever's meant to happen will happen, and for now I'll try to make the most out of what I have the in palm of my hands; a great livery facility for my ponies with people who really love them and take care of them, and well.. training solo.
In an attempt to engage my mind in alternative zen-like activities, I spent the past couple of days gardening, & abusing my credit card. Shoes and dresses mostly, but my favorite is the new addition to my LV trunk collection: the Alzer cosmetics box, gooorrrrrgeous & SOOO does not match my room's theme and dressing table style, but who cares? I just lost a jumping trainer, I think I'm entitled to make this crime. And I'm eye-ing Kenneth Jay Lane's Jakci'e O cross breakfast at tiffany's style pearl necklace. I love his designs, and a bijou x frame necklace for my pony's photo
I love my pony xx
Labels: Daily, Fashion, La Dolce Vita, Pony Tales
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