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Bounce            We humans are quite the complex creatures, we spend a lifetime doing the same things, talking to the same people, going to the same places, and when they're all gone, we just move on.. to the next things, other people, and other places. As it turned out, writing about it was the first step of comprehending what had happened, next, I found myself speaking with G -who I must say was a very patient person to bear with it- & that was it for me. I don't know how to explain what this makes me feel, it's midway between disappointment and perplexity: how is it that we recollect ourselves and bounce back so quickly, just like that? I was reading excerpts from the book 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' by Sogyal Rinpoche (ISBN 978-0062508348), and even though I had read it before, this time, some parts of it made a complete different sense this time. The heart of this book suggests that even though we begin to die the moment we are born (very true, I always thought that of flowers in a vase), we still live our lives enthusiastically pursuing the hustles and bustles of it in hope to grab, possess, or conquer the next big thing of our lives thinking that that is all that matters. Going back to that book was exactly the right thing for me at the time, ...that and erasing walls of convention. Swimming against the stream of convention is often perceived as a mistake. Some say that mistakes are the best way to learn something, other say we only learn from our mistakes. I don't know if either holds merit, but I know this: from our mistakes -& in the absence of all constraints- we discover our true self; not the self that our environment nor upbringing molded, not the self that we project to our surroundings, but rather our very core self - raw and unedited. To be standing outside of your comfort zone, with no hindrance, restrictions or limitations -- no right or wrong, and no one to judge your 'self' but yourself is the ultimate confrontation with your personal values; whether they come through or not is irrelevant, what is truly relevant and important is that as a consequence of this confrontation comes through a better understanding of the things that matter to you, things/habits that have significant dominance over you even though you may not have realized it before. Personally speaking, the past week was full of self-discovery; how and what is a lengthly conversation, and I'm not even sure I want to get into that here. The variables change, but the constant is always there: Love. The form, and shape of that love is not important, neither the what or who is the recipient at the other end. I find that people who know how to love -& are able to express it- are able to see the good things in any unfortunate or dreadful situation. Catastrophe is a making of our minds, we have the choice to make it mentally and emotionally restraining for lengthly periods of time, or come face to face with our grieving, acknowledge it, accept it for what it is and deal with it in the shortest time possible, whatever the means. I chose to surround myself with the things and people I love, spent hours in the company of my books and horses at the stables, Dwight Schrute at The Office, Sugar Daddy red velvet cupcakes at the bakery and home, making equestrian art at the studio, & rain on the streets -- what more can one wish for? Labels: Personal Philosophy, Pony Tales $4 in my moola box | link | email this post |
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