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Do We Perceive Beauty? "A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work. The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. Every single time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on. In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars. Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston (each seat @ $100) . Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context? "It was the most astonishing thing I've ever seen in Washington," Furukawa says. "Joshua Bell was standing there playing at rush hour, and people were not stopping, and not even looking, and some were flipping quarters at him! Quarters! I wouldn't do that to anybody. I was thinking, Omigosh, what kind of a city do I live in that this could happen?" One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?” - via karroozi - read the full article as published by The Washington Post here Labels: Music, Personal Philosophy $6 in my moola box | link | email this post Sugar Daddy Syndrome Sugar Daddy -noun A deep & brooding resentment takes over me as I feel tempted to re-etirate my "Local Sugar Daddy & the Mistress" entry that I posted a while back, only this time, it's quite different. But if you haven't read that post please do before you continue reading the rest. In completely different place and settings, the underlying event and purpose are the same. There I was, absorbing the random speech from not so random people, somehow -everything makes sense now, it all does, I am now able to connect the dots. I'd like to think that I don't care, that every person's decisions in their personal lives is a liability (or otherwise) on none but them; that if a person chooses to do right or wrong, it's their choice and they'll experience the consequences. But, it's difficult when it's a person you know, it brings a completely different dimension of how ordinary this is in the minds and morals of many. I tried to put myself in her shoes, wear her Ginas and Choos, & question what plaintive & mournful fate and life did she have to feel the need to acquire all that glitters & climb the pedestal of social status at the expense of a man's family, her parents' token of trust, & her gravity of personal values -if they were in existence. What I learned reminded me of The Other Boleyn Girl, a perfect escalation of greed and covetousness, ..and a graduation of outrage. Justice to Catherine of Aragon was not part of the story, it was not just to her, but that was fiction; I'd like to think that in reality; life has better turns for this Sugar Daddy's wife & children, ..despite his mistress. Labels: Personal Philosophy $10 in my moola box | link | email this post Small Window "It's like having a farm" she said."You plant it's soil, water it, take care of it and wait in vain for your harvest, but you get nothing in return. You get so consumed in waiting that you do not step outside, nor aside.. and one day, you decide you're tired of it and give it all up -just like that. ..and you walk out only to discover that you're surrounded by all that your heart desires -everything." Objects did not fly through my small window, but nonetheless I saw a glimpse of a light.. so much more beautiful, and bears hope for positive change. I couldn't sleep last night before I found that glimpse of light, which consumed my eyes till about 4 in the morning. Sometimes, saying "No" to something you love can be the hardest thing, ..but it's doable, and when it happens, you just collect every shred of strength you've got, say the word, close your eyes, walk away and live beautifully for the rest of your days -- c'est la vie. What is this all about and what does this post (& the one before) refer to? - I'll tell you in due time. Until then, wish me a bigger, brighter, more brilliant light & many objects flying through my window x @Loosha, thank you for the inspiration @Jeanne, thank you for being an endless well of wisdom @My sister, thank you for listening, lovingly. @the toilets of our work premises, thank you for curbing my overwhelming emotional breakdown Labels: Personal Philosophy $9 in my moola box | link | email this post From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years  "Some years ago when I worked at the libertarian Cato Institute, we used to label any new hire who had not yet read "Atlas Shrugged" a "virgin." Being conversant in Ayn Rand's classic novel about the economic carnage caused by big government run amok was practically a job requirement.. " Read More The article published on The Wall Street Journal last week, I took a lot of pleasure reading it mainly because 1) Ayn Rand has been my favorite female philosopher since The Virtue of Selfishness, and 2) her story is a true example that willingness and value are the main drivers of success -- Neither your name, nor the people you know will get you to places and sustain your high horse seat. To move away from the subject; I don't remember the last time I was in a group of utterly welcoming and equally helpful professionals who say "you're welcome to walk into our office and ask your questions any time" and actually meant it. The last time I experienced that was during my CFA prep course a few years ago, and ever since moving into the operations unit I haven't felt that genuinely once -- until yesterday, that is. Aerospace is far less sexy than Media, that I cannot argue. And as an industry, it's less 'sensible' than Telecom or Logistics (both of which I was part of in a previous life), but one thing I've learned: The industry has very little to do with how happy, or unhappy you are in a workplace, it's the people that make the difference -- and people here are simply delightful. It probably is too early to make a judgement; hence, I'll draw the period to this post now. Related links: + Atlas Shrugged movie starring Angelina Jolie + Atlas Shrugged book Labels: Books, Personal Philosophy $6 in my moola box | link | email this post Bounce            We humans are quite the complex creatures, we spend a lifetime doing the same things, talking to the same people, going to the same places, and when they're all gone, we just move on.. to the next things, other people, and other places. As it turned out, writing about it was the first step of comprehending what had happened, next, I found myself speaking with G -who I must say was a very patient person to bear with it- & that was it for me. I don't know how to explain what this makes me feel, it's midway between disappointment and perplexity: how is it that we recollect ourselves and bounce back so quickly, just like that? I was reading excerpts from the book 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' by Sogyal Rinpoche (ISBN 978-0062508348), and even though I had read it before, this time, some parts of it made a complete different sense this time. The heart of this book suggests that even though we begin to die the moment we are born (very true, I always thought that of flowers in a vase), we still live our lives enthusiastically pursuing the hustles and bustles of it in hope to grab, possess, or conquer the next big thing of our lives thinking that that is all that matters. Going back to that book was exactly the right thing for me at the time, ...that and erasing walls of convention. Swimming against the stream of convention is often perceived as a mistake. Some say that mistakes are the best way to learn something, other say we only learn from our mistakes. I don't know if either holds merit, but I know this: from our mistakes -& in the absence of all constraints- we discover our true self; not the self that our environment nor upbringing molded, not the self that we project to our surroundings, but rather our very core self - raw and unedited. To be standing outside of your comfort zone, with no hindrance, restrictions or limitations -- no right or wrong, and no one to judge your 'self' but yourself is the ultimate confrontation with your personal values; whether they come through or not is irrelevant, what is truly relevant and important is that as a consequence of this confrontation comes through a better understanding of the things that matter to you, things/habits that have significant dominance over you even though you may not have realized it before. Personally speaking, the past week was full of self-discovery; how and what is a lengthly conversation, and I'm not even sure I want to get into that here. The variables change, but the constant is always there: Love. The form, and shape of that love is not important, neither the what or who is the recipient at the other end. I find that people who know how to love -& are able to express it- are able to see the good things in any unfortunate or dreadful situation. Catastrophe is a making of our minds, we have the choice to make it mentally and emotionally restraining for lengthly periods of time, or come face to face with our grieving, acknowledge it, accept it for what it is and deal with it in the shortest time possible, whatever the means. I chose to surround myself with the things and people I love, spent hours in the company of my books and horses at the stables, Dwight Schrute at The Office, Sugar Daddy red velvet cupcakes at the bakery and home, making equestrian art at the studio, & rain on the streets -- what more can one wish for? Labels: Personal Philosophy, Pony Tales $4 in my moola box | link | email this post Life Mergers & Acquisitions Three days into my work-routine post vacation, & I thought the weekend would never come. The mornings were spent catching up on what I've missed when I was away: building conceptual frameworks, outlining strategies, and researching potential future plans. The evenings at home were spent negotiating life M&A deals -for the most part. In the business world, when a company decides to acquire another or merge, a series of extensive analytical exercises take place, both from strategic and financial perspectives. The evaluation and due diligence could take many months, & people are often happy with that. It introduces a certain level of comfort that they're taking their time to make the right decision for their company on whether they should, or shouldn't invest. Marriage commitments in life are much like M&A's, except that the traditional mindset dictates that no due diligence nor analysis is to take place, and that one ought to be able to make a decision based on the 'Brand Strength' and the 'Market stock price' of the Nonetheless, convention can be slightly kinder to those who have formerly experienced failed commitments; this flexibility stems from the unmitigated fact that in Eastern and Mediterranean cultures, those individuals' probability for a second-chance is significantly lower than that of their peers. The accumulated effect of such prejudiced perception often creates an element of self-deficiency in some individuals -depending on the intensity and environment- and one begins to shift-focus from the true objective of building a life with another person to distorting the image of who they truly are, and how to get to the other side of the river & join their peers in the shortest time possible. Convention also likes to make the second-time-around people feel like it's doing them a favor by permitting an introduction in a socially acceptable context, even though one doesn't get much out of the introduction other than an approximation of physical appearance, voice, and a memory of two awkward individuals in a room full of their relatives sparing no effort in making dicey remarks and so-called jokes in an enormously miserable attempt to lighten the air. The Contradiction The organization I work for has a diverse portfolio of people from both genders of which I interact with on daily basis. We spend more time in the company of each other at work than home; in other words, I spend more time in the vicinity of my male 30-something manager than my mom, and that is simply a product of sharing an office with him, and many others. The social acceptability view says it is okay. However, all forms of reason are often relinquished for non-colleague males no matter how upright and decent their intentions may be. That is to say, it's okay for a lady to spend many hours in the vicinity of a men in the professional environment for the purpose of doing work, regardless how noble or ill their minds may be, but it is absolutely not admissible for her to be in the vicinity of a man and her family for the purpose of analyzing and discussing a potential partnership deal. Why do we find it easier to accept our girls spending time in a mixed-professional environment -especially in organizations with a diverse nationality mix- and yet, are not able to tolerate them spending time getting to know and assess a lifetime partner? The Lucky Few.. You're lucky if you're in an environment that promotes a healthy and rational way to build a lifetime deal. You are also lucky if you have fallen in love, and know who you want to spend the rest of your life with and have the opportunity to do that. And, you're daaaamn lucky if you've had a traditional arranged marriage and it worked out beautifully for you. On this side of the equation, I'm lucky to have a family open to negotiations, that is to say; despite the fact that their über Bedouin backgrounds have seeded weighty and irrational sets of beliefs; they're still able to see past the fog and look straight into the core of what constitutes all humans: Feelings & Thoughts. Comparing my future's decision-making mental framework with M&A's put my mum at loss for words , & the thought of creating a Mergers After many long conversations of reasons why time-spent assessing the compatibility of two people is in fact an investment in happiness, and a good way to hedge one's risk exposure to misery; she is now able to see with my eyes, to a certain extent. My dad, on the other hand, has always been the sharp straight to the point/cut through the crap kind of a man, so logic always scores with him, & it has from round 1 of negotiations. What Makes Compatible Partners? I'd like to think that age, intellect, and educational backgrounds rank on the very top, but the truth is: It doesn't matter. I've seen couples with educational backgrounds so far apart from one another, yet, they're able to mentally connect and remain at par with each other for a lifetime, & that is not easy. I have also come across couples with an age gap big enough to accommodate a whole generation of difference -think Demi & Ashton, Heather & Derek- who look like they were made for each other. The way I see it, the first indicator and measure of compatibility is acceptance. In other words, being with a person who does not expect you to change who you are for them -- they accept you the way you are, capitalize on the good times, & overlook -to a certain extent- the bad ones. A woman cannot wish for an enormously successful man with an established career and power if she cannot tolerate his working hours or frequent travels, & if she accepts to be part of his life, she must take him with his career baggage & not walk into the commitment with the 'He will eventually change' mindset, ..and even more importantly, never with the 'Having a child will solve all problems' idea. The same is true for the other side of the spectrum; a man cannot ask for an intelligent and educated woman and stipulate a condition that she should ship from factory on 'Silent-mode'.. Education, reading, and travel broadens the horizons of any individual, they stimulate the development of opinions, & it's a natural consequence of knowing -- how could anyone wish to live life that is so void of stimulating conversation, so monotonous, and so mind-numbing? The Different Measures of Equality We often see mothers ask their sons to sketch a mental silhouette of their ideal wives; in this part of the world, the image is uniform for the most: - Beautiful - Well-rounded with all that is relevant to home-keeping - Beautiful - Well-bread and born into a reputable family - Beautiful (again!) - Religious - Cheerful and always in a good mood - Limited social sphere - Does not frequent the marketplace yet knows how to dress better than her potential competition in the outside world. - And one more time, beautiful. The question is: How does the other party intend to offset these requirements of beauty, status, and grace? What does he have to offer that would put him at par with this? What gives him the right to tailor-make an ideal woman, if he is not an ideal man himself? Nor did he spend the time and energy to attempt to become one? For the most part, we don't have much say in our physical appearance nor what families we're born into. We do, however, have the ability to refine our physical forms and personalities by doing things like exercising, eating right, & constantly developing ourselves to become better people. It would be comforting to know that the universe has a mysterious way to guarantee that beauty & femininity are offset by masculinity, dashing looks & rock-like abs, and cheerfulness with tolerance, understanding & responsibility; that spirituality and manners constitute the core of their individual beings more than it being a show-display as a means to social acceptance. And finally, it would be really comforting to know that it's okay not to be charmingly stunning and all that, because someone out there will see past the 'shell' and recognize the beauty within, the kind of beauty that does not degenerate when our bodies do.. and that they will love us however way we are, without attempting to lift a finger for change. Labels: Life Events, Personal Philosophy $32 in my moola box | link | email this post How to Respond to That: Part Un "The first time I met you and had the chance to speak with you I saw something, ..an air of overflowing abundance; I knew right there and then that you're different, you're a keeper, & I've decided to do all that it takes to keep you."I listened, with a thousand and one questions firing up my mind, as he continued.. "You are anything but conforming to de rigueur. Your self-containment and ambitions are well understood, and will be well-supported - I know that you will not settle for anything that is less than your potential, and if you would say Yes to me now or tomorrow, know that this will not impose a commitment, I know you don't like to be caged inside the boundaries of Should & Must, and for that I want you to be comfortable knowing that you can walk away at any point -if that's what you want" Despite the fluttering-like-crazy butterflies in my stomach I thought dinner was delicious, I had wiped my chocolate souffle cup clean -always the best part of the meal. On my way back home, my mind replayed the past hour and half over and over again; I hadn't felt that way in a long, looong time. Why couldn't I see this before? Why is it natural for humans to discard the good they have available to them in the comfort and closeness of their grips in an attempt to pursue what they can't have, and waste time in the process? I walked into my room, and my maid lit some candles & put on a classic Barry Manillow {I wasn't surprised} while I curled up in bed stretching a smile of lucid peace of mind. There were so many people I wanted to share the smile with, ..except that I dozed off before I could even count my sheep. Tonight is the launch of The National, a new english newspaper that will revolutionize the traditional news arena in the Emirates, and I'm very excited about it. The first copy will be distributed to sale kiosks and outlets tomorrow morning, it would be interesting to finally have a proper English newspaper that does not constitute of articles "borrowed" from worldly renowned periodicals and publications, one that does not comprise of a coalescence of sorry grammatical errors and un-sourced photos of images. The editorial team that has reached a little over 200 of headcount is lead by Martin Newland and is already being celebrated in different parts of the world. A thing you should know about this newspaper is that its role "is to reflect society, help that society evolve and, perhaps most importantly, promote the bedrock traditions and virtues that must be preserved even in times of change and that is why we have called our paper The National," -Editor-in-Chief Martin Newland said in a statement. A picture can speak a thousand words? well, this is a rather long post that is low-fat on photos, but if you watch the video above you'll know that there's really no need for pictures because this will tell a story and get you thinking of a few things you should be thinking about: How to live your childhood dreams and how to enable those around you to do that too. The lecture was given by the Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who was dying from pancreatic cancer. He gave his last lecture at the university on Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving talk, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. Most of us live on a fast-pace, and we all often promise ourselves that we'll take it easy, sometime soon. But how many of us do? We vow that we'll spend more time with our families and doing the things we love, yet, a few of us do. Perhaps if you watch this video you'll appreciate what you have now, and put more effort into achieving balance in your life. As I watched this video, I thought of many things and several people made an appearance in my mind in slow motion - Nadd, G, and my favorite Gemini; Nadd because I know he would appreciate this lecture, G because he understands, & my favorite Gemini because that's the one person that lives the fastest-paced life I've seen yet => Seriously. Nonetheless, I have a feeling that many of you would enjoy this video , so please watch it. Until next time.. lotsssssss of love & eye-hugs comin' your way x Labels: Personal Philosophy $11 in my moola box | link | email this post Homesick  Someone once told me that my "arse" would break before an Hermés saddle does. That is, in fact, very true. I rode with my new saddle the day I brought it back home, & despite that fact that it has the most exquisite leather I have ever seen on a saddle, the flaps are so unbelievably stiff & slippery that not even wearing mini-chaps guarantees a good grip. The good thing is that the knee-rolls are made of buffalo leather which is thicker & has more texture, so my knees were able to cling to it firmly, & the other good this is that the case is not entirely hopeless =) It would just take a bit of time, lots of riding, & lots of oiling my saddle to break its leather in the shortest time possible. I'm thinking this will probably take 4 weeks, less if I ride every day like I intend to, which brings me to my next subject: Commitment. I'm someone who takes pride in the level of commitment I put into matters in my life; career, education, social duties, relationships, & self development are to name but a few -- successfully completing milestones ignitions the drive in me to do better, more, & lift that hurdle bar higher everytime. However, it mortifies me to come face to face with the shameful truth that I -now- fall short of giving a 100% to all of those things, that over the past couple of months I've slacked off on my Spanish language lessons, for instance. My mind is cluttered by the social duties that I intentionally failed to fulfill, and well, my job? the oomph is lacking, it's just not there. Many reasons, some of which I'll be discussing below, but the truth is, causes don't matter, how I address them is what matters. More often than not, I feel the enormous pressure imposed on me by my own society. It's not so much about belonging to this part of the world that I dislike, au contraire, had I been given the option to live elsewhere in someone else's shoes; I wouldn't switch for the world, & I'm serious. I love every bit of being an Emirati, not only that, but being an Emirati from a simple Bedouin family & an unsophisticated background. Still, the irrationality of the collective-thinking of my native people drives me mad to the highest degrees of suffocation. Time and time again, middling mediocre subjects are inflated beyond perpetuity (think AED. 1,000,000 awards for Al-Yolah cultural dances), & significantly vital affairs of social development & education are marginalized and disputed to pitiful degrees of insignificance (i.e. AED. 20,000 educational excellence award for Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, & MIT post-graduates) which really provokes the perfectly justified question here: What statement are we trying to make here by giving SO much weight to the former, and de-scaling the latter? I find myself infuriated at the fact that our culture & people are ruled by convention, where to know how we ought to cope with situations today; we often look back at how our ancestors tackled them a century and a half ago stripping our judgment from all variables that ought to go into our formula of our decision. How no matter how many times we fail, we still never learn from our mistakes because we're too fixed upon our own righteousness; the 'beliefs' that have been poured into us without giving us the right to question Why, and How? How is it that a 15-year old boy has the final say whether or not his 23-year old sister should pursue a higher degree of education? Could he possibly be more mature? More knowledgable, or more experienced in life than her? Could he even comprehend "education" beyond the Simultaneous Equations of Algebra? And, how could a family alienate a perfectly eligible bachelor off of marrying their -not necessarily the epitomy of perfection- daughter for the simple fact that he does not belong to their Yassi tribe? Who are you people? really. Why is it that we think we're better than everyone else just because we were born into a family that happens to be amongst the first few tribes that have multiplied in the region. I Am One, and you know what? It saddens me that I am unable to convince my people that we are, in fact, not better than everyone else, ..that what matters really is not the last name we have coincidentally inherited, ..that essentially, it is how good we are & how good we strive to be - that we can grow past what happens to us, to conduct an adult relationship impregnated with respect above all, with compassion, and understanding, ..that someone will always be better, more intelligent and more powerful than us. What I can say now is that it kills me to see people with great potential to fall victims of the irrational thinking of their surrounding; to let go of their dreams and ALL that they could ever become just because their environment lacks flexibility and vision for all that the future would unfold. And it frustrates me to know that there is no [Brain Wash Forever] button that I could press to re-format the minds of people and re-program them with Logic! Logic! Logic! ..I feel so helpless, it makes me want to cry. I can also say that I am less legitimate to spearhead this than anyone else, because I -too- conform to the rules of society, perhaps to a lesser extent, but I do. Which is why after many months of adhering to what is acceptable and what is not; I yearn to go back to Tokyo to catch my breath, where regardless whether you're an Arab, an American, a Brit or a Mozanbiquan -you are just a foreigner. Where respect is the utmost priority in all forms of communication, & childlike restlessness and innocence are indispensable. I am tempted -with a questionable right- to say: I feel homesick. Labels: Personal Philosophy, Pony Tales $21 in my moola box | link | email this post Aggrandizement of Thought Is it just me, or are FaceBook's fortune cookies creepy? really. They're so unbelievably correct! ..In my mind, I had been indulging in some possibilities and scenarios - should I? or should I not? the picturesque details made me favor the "should", whilst the emotional latitude and risk deteriorated that. Everything comes to and end, no? I'm not one to hold on to what I shouldn't be holding on to. On my shelves, everything ships with an expiry date, & when that date comes I have but two options: preserve the piquant illusions and dreams, close the book & tuck it away somewhere far in the back of my head where I can always come back to it to put a smile on my face, or throw it in the trash can. I feel positively about the first take, & that's what I choose to do. The way I see it, when there's a fountain of experiences out there for you; why not break out of your comfort zones and try something new, all the time? This is a conversation I should be having with Muse & my sister, but since I haven't been in touch with them as much as I should have been I guess I'm just happy shuffling things in my mind now, & taking that bold step in the dark on grounds I've never walked on before, & I have a feeling -a strong feeling- that at the end, it will all feel good, really good => Speaking of feel-good factors, lemme share with you my perks of the week:   01. Made chocolate soufflé -for the first time, that is. I LOVED IT!..but the portion turned out to be a lot mOre than I expected >_<; I intend to make it again, but next time I'll prolly go for half the portion which will be around 4 soufflé cups.. & I'm already thinking of ideas for using the same method but experimenting with exotic fruits minus the chocolate, think passion fruit soufflé? orrr... blueberry? or even just apples & cinnamon *drools*   02. This cute mug from my little cousin. {Okay, he prolly hates me now that I referred to him as "little cousin" on my blog lol - expecting an sms any minute now} 03. INDESTRUCTIBLE sending me an email with gorgeous pink pumps recommendations as an attempt to follow-up on my previous post! -- Coming from the Alpha Male he is, I think it's kinda cute lol    04. Found my way to a VERY nice tack shop with über friendly staff who really know their stuff, & picked up a bareback riding pad, TA-DAAAAA! Finally! I'm SO EXCITED, & I'm SO LOVING IT! I can't waitttttt to try it! {will keep you posted on how it goes on that painfully bony pony *lol*}  05. These tres baroque gorgeous stirrups <3 I love them, they're just very different than your conventional stirrup shape <3 <3 <3  06. My pony now jumps 120cm high - 110cm wide oxer obstacles. Awesome! I love him! I love himm! I loooove himmmmmmmmm to the point of suffocating hugs!!! After our oh-so-fabulous jumps, I gave him a sponge-bath, bandaged his legs & took him into his paddock. He was so happy to be off the halter & started running & kicking in every direction =D    07. This polo book with lotssssssssss of photos <3 08. & finally, frames for my blog photos => hehe.. aren't they gorgeous? <3 & if you're still wondering what my fortune cookie said today, here goes: "Would you rather be happy, or right?" Labels: Cookingfessional, Domestic Goddess, Personal Philosophy, Pony Tales $13 in my moola box | link | email this post Betting & Riding    Someone once told me "the best things in life are for free", my mind & heart couldn't help but flash an image of a crocodile birkin before my eyes instantly. As much as I'd like to think that the best things in life are for free, sadly, that just isn't reasonable. However, it is reasonable to say that happiness doesn't have a price tag. That is a theory, & I'll tell you how practice proved it: 1) Betting on Bubbles I love blowing bubbles in the air. More so though, I love betting on them. Which bubble lives longest, & which one travels farthest. And although this sport may appeal to those with plenty of time to spare, I must say that it is also a great stress-release technique. So, instead of engaging in battles of the mind over which strategy to adopt for 'X' project, what barriers of entry do you foresee for 'Y' company, or whether or not the steering committee would approve of your initiatives, .. instead of all that you get to focus on one thing, just one: Will my bubble live long enough to cross the street? I took this to test the other day, & surprisingly, the sport had fans & cheers who -I'm sure- wished they had bubble wands of their own to blow circles of happiness in the air & send them off to circulate & spread cheers. Bubbles make me smile, and at times laugh, even when I'm alone. Cost: AED. 12.00 2) Mont Sur Le Cheval Sans Selle Riding bareback is my newly developed infatuation. I love it! I love it! I love it! -- Something about it feels so natural, & as marginally impractical as this may sound, it feels soooo Godiva-cross-movie-glam like Haha.. okay, maybe not exactly, but that's how it looked in my mind lol. Mind you, the "I love to ride bareback" was not by any means the first feeling I got as I attempted to balance myself on the spine surface below me.. at the beginning, it felt like a slippery pad of gel, I didn't know how to secure myself on a walk, let alone a trot or even a canter! After several minutes of near-nervous-breakdown experiences I realized that fear will only make me more tense, & tight.. So I thought to myself "If the boy wants me off, off I'll be.. with or without a saddle! What's the worst that could happen? fall? I've tried it before =D " I swallowed the bullet & pretended I was this invincible Übermensch, ..& before I knew it, I was trotting & cantering sur le cheval sans selle for an hour and a half.It was the highlight of my day. Cost: AED. 0.00 So, yes, perhaps it's true that my bubble wand & my pony's sweaty skin didn't bring my crocodile birkin any nearer, but, I'm happy. I was able to experience a rare kind of happiness invisible to the senses of many. The happiness kind of happiness only found in the small, little pleasures of life.  Mr. Insert Name Here says Eid Mubaaaaarak.. and Chanel, Tantra, & myself would like to wish you a faaaaaaabulous Eid with many maaannyyy happy returns xx P.S. I've received emails from some of you who have submitted your details for the forum invitations but they haven't appeared for some reason.. I apologize for the hiccup. You too will receive invites x Labels: Birkin, Hermes, Personal Philosophy, Poochy Mamma $1 in my moola box | link | email this post The Local Sugar Daddy & the Mistress Last night: First and foremost, let's establish one thing here: we're NOT 'locals', we're NATIONALS. n-a-t-i-o-n-a-l citizens of the Emirates. Next, seriously? A married man? Whatever happened to principles? Is nothing sacred anymore? -- the french lady occupying the seat next to mine last night chattering away & bragging about her Local Love's material & filth appeared to have no idea that the 'local' lady dressed in traditional clothes could decipher her heavily french tinted english as she broke the exciting news of her newly acquired 'local' sugar daddy to her friends. I couldn't help but wonder how much of a 'needy chick' would you have to be to discard principles & pursue a man knowing that he is otherwise committed. And I found myself curious as to the level of respect you'd have for Yourself, & for Him; Him being someone who broke his ethical marriage contract, & You? Well, You being the perfect example for classic "pump & dump" Seriously, wouldn't it be easier to find a way to make *your own money*? At least then you might be able to preserve whatever's left of your tattered dignity. And if in return you meet a national man that you like that way, then hallelujah! May you live happily ever after. If you happen to know me well, you'd probably know that I rank high amongst the least racist & least judgemental people you've come across. I am not against cross-border marriages, in fact, quite the contrary. At the end of that you do whatever makes -you- comfortable, & if your comfort lies with someone from the North Pole, then be it. Go for it. Just don't jeopardize your ethics, & don't put your Principles at risk. Safeguard your Principles at bay, because in the end, if you're unable to sum up enough respect for yourself, there's no reason why you should expect it from others. Paucity in your reserves of principles will only reflect back on you, & yield a deficit in the respect others have for you. Sent from my Blackberry® wireless device Labels: Personal Philosophy $2 in my moola box | link | email this post Look at Me, I Want You to See Me I want you to get to know me better, ..& I'd like to know you better too. If you'd like that, come closer & take the cushion placed on the wooden floor next to mine, I'm in one of those very rare moods where I want to talk, & tell you about the world as I see it.. I'll be doing this over the next few posts, & if i find myself suddenly out of this mood; have patience, lots of it, it'll come sooner or later. What provoked this urge? -I don't know really. Oaths.. - Never to make the same mistake twice - Never to acknowledge the existence of comme si comme ca mannered men, sorry, but social etiquette is compulsory for both genders - If you're comfortable in your skin, there's no reason to let anyone influence that comfort negatively - Never to leave home without a camera, & baby wipes - Never be a doormat to anyone. Not that I ever was, quite the contrary actually, but it bugs the helllll out of me to see weak people who take rubbish from others - Never to lose my innocence, no matter what the world dished out my way.. - Never to let finance take over my world, slowly morphing me into a dull, boring, beer-belly person who does nothing but number crunching {for some reason that i cannot comprehend, this is the image i have in mind of pure-finance people lol} Favorites.. I have too many favorites, seriously. But the ones i'll be listing below reflect my very moment favorites, right rrrrright now: Favorite food: fresh scones avec strawberry preserves, lemon curd, & marmalade Favorite fragrance: chanel No.5 with my privately made oil fragrance Favorite flower: wild orchids, orchids, & orchids, & mOre orchids Favorite place: the bay Favorite song: Pink Martini's The Gardens Of Sampson & Beasley Favorite smell: crisp white fresh linen Favorite insane thing to do: dance in the rain Favorite drink: hot chocolate @ Galler Favorite book: Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda Favorite nail color: tea & crumpets Favorite feeling: that unmistakable warmth you feel in a tight hug Favorite hair clip: plastic white clip i picked up at H&M yesterday Favorite sound: laughter & giggles Favorite facial feature: double-chins & chin dimples, I love them & can't resist staring at faces of those who have them Favorite color: pink. seriously. Favorite fabric: lace Favorite moment of the day: afternoon tea, biscuits, ladurée macaroons, & The Berkeley Hotel designer biscuits & cakes Favorite car: Aston Martin Favorite accent: italians speaking english Favorite phone: a pink reconditioned classic!  My thoughts on.. - People who feed on gossip? they're nothing but a tiny little footnote on my epic - Cosmic bliss? I've experienced it before, & it's very hard to describe that feeling with words, but i'll try: it's when you go to sleep with a fluttering heart that beats with happiness, ..it's when you burst out in laughter for no apparent reason, ..it's that feeling where everything feels right, where you don't have to worry about tomorrow, or yesterday, ..where you feel safe & you know you're doing the best you can. - Wealth? Experience. - Knowledge? The more difficult the journey is, the greater the depth of the purification - Smart women who play dumb? I pitty them, & I feel my IQ drops a few points everytime I find myself around them - Dumb women? Soooooo not hot *puke* - Dumb men? Even worse. *double puke* - Prince Charming? A man who is strong, confident, & bright. A man filled with curiosity about life, ..a man who isn't afraid to learn from his mistakes - Marriage for the sake of having children? Sorry. My womb will never be a 9-months lodge for the specimen of half-men Private Space.. My personal private spaces are my bedroom, closet, & studio.. I have this personal philosophy that dictates a TV should never go into the bedroom, there are other forms of entertainment that could go there, just not a television. TV sets can however go in the small sitting are by the bedroom, or in the bathroom by the tub. Your private space is your trés personal space where you retreat after a long exhausting day. A spacious closet is a must for every girl with serious weakness for clothes, shoes, & bags.. {although the latter is slowly subsiding on my side, 'cept for the birkin fever that is Haha}.. so, throw a little bit of your character in every corner of your room. In my case, all of my bedrooms {be it in AlAin, Abu Dhabi, or even our farm house} must have shades of pink & red, I often toggle wallpaper & paint, each goes on two walls {or a single wall}.. nonetheless, I am now in the mood for beige, beige, BEIGE ..think natasha, Mr.Big's wife from SATC lol.. the room i'll design next would have photo-wallpaper on a single wall, I see it trés modern with a touch of french classic a la marie antoinette vintage laces cross agent provacateure boudoir pinks.. Don't forget the bed linen, prolly the most important part of the bedroom; I <3 Frette, The White Company, & Cologne & Linen.. spritz your linen with Molton Brown sleep mist every evening & light a Agent Provocateur candle on your bedside.. always throw around pretty things, even if you don't use them often.. they're pretty to look at, & they make you feel good *grin*   For my walk-in closet, well.. the more the merrier lol! Always organize your clothes by occasion, type, & color.. & if the budget permits, opt for hydraulic hangers.. they're the best! -- The studio.. it's always a mess when i'm working {i.e. painting}, but my Caramella does a faaaaaaaaabulous job cleaning at the speed of light, haha.. & she has a magic touch organizing my CDs & DVDs in alphabetical order {i'm grooming her to become the second Monica, in case you haven't noticed lol} Whatever your private space looks like now, remember.. you can make ANYTHING look unique if you add a touch of your character to it.. it's twice as pretty when it's genuine <3 The Look.. A couple of days ago, as I waited for our turn at Harrods' Pizzeria, a couple of Saudi men made their way to us & fired away with the question: "Hi! Are you half swiss? Do you have swiss blood in you?" .. I rolled my eyes & thought to myself seriously, where on earth did he get that from? -- my answer was "No".. He then asks "Where's your mother from?" & went into series of remarks on how he's half swiss & swears therefore, I must be half swiss too {*rolls eyes again*}, ..the fact is: my look? very Arab, VERY Emirati.. I do not look the least bit foreign, not a chance.. & quite frankly? I love it. Nonetheless, the very emarati look imposes a certain style on me, wearing the abaya & sheila entails that your behavior matches their elegance. My personal style? well, I often stray away from colorful bug-eye shades when I'm in my shaila & abaya, I think they dilute the elegance of the latter, nonetheless, i think they're totally haute avec summery 50's & 60's imperial waist dresses, especially with a matching big-chunky-curls hairdo, or a Twiggy boy-cut with fringle style <3 <3 <3 -- I simply would not be caught dead in 66 layers of garments on top of each other, a turtle neck + backless top + shrug + skinny jeans + boots + some fortune teller scarf tied around my -by now looking like a broccoli gone bad- head for 'hejab' whilst my hoop earrings dangle their way around. No, never. Not even in tokyo where I'm completely in my element, the quintessence of class is what I would opt for any day, everyday. Not an itsy-bitsy piece less. In my little cosmetic pouch.. I picked up my gorgeous makeup bag at s*uce, they have the quirkiest designs for all things girlie. I <3 it because it's handmade with 2 little birdies sparkled with glitter.. I like to think that those two love birds are myself avec my prince charming {so says the hopeful romantic lol}.. so inside my makeup bag I have: - the infamous jill stuart compact - Barbie pink blusher by MAC - jill stuart sparkle dust eyeshadow palette in 03 amber glaze {gorrrrgeous earth tone colors that i aaabsolutely love!} - HR concealer - Estée Lauder brilliant all over shimmer in Rose Quartz - Pout mascara {mainly for how pretty the packaging is, ..the mascara is not so impressive compared to dior's blackout.. but, just like high-heels, we don't always have to go for comfort & practicality.. it's a girl's thing, make peace with it!} - brushes: mac 275, concealer brush, & versace shadow brush {the number is kinda gone now as a result of overuse lol} - & finally, Estée Lauder's tender blush in Peach Nuance  One day I will.. - Write a book - Speak spanish, italian, japanese & french fluently.. & potentially a few more - Go to Tibet - Meet the dalai lama - Understand what that ancient chinese man said.. - Stop waiting in vain - Own a crocodile birkin - Go scooba diving with fabulous company - Speak to Nisrin & tell her that I'm sorry - Find Mr. & Mrs. Dixon - Find the perfect piece of cashmere pashmina - Have 3 boys & 1 girl: Khalid will be the first. - Contribute to education & social development of my native people, somehow.. - Find a horse that looks like me =D In a perfect world.. - My prince charming & I would host our trés intimate, trés classy wedding in some distant land, & if he has an equally wild spirit, we'll have multiple weddings.. think globe-hopping-style: Tokyo, NY, London {maybe}, Paris {of course}, & finally Maldives.. if he comes up with better ideas, i'm open to his wildest suggestions ^.^ - I would have the perfect pair of heels, in a perfect shade of red - Earth would grow 35cm birkins in my back yard; ostrich, crocodile, & Togo Haha Labels: Birkin, Hermes, Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post The Steve Jobs Theory & What Horses Teach us about Freedom My well hasn't run dry. I haven't posted an entry in more than a week, which was quite tough, because on several occasions I had that compelling urge to write what's on my mind, except that there would have been no way for me to simplify the complexity and lack of order of the chaotic festivity in my head. More often than not, in life; we are presented with options, where we find ourselves unable to choose which one's best for us, for our future -- I am in one of those situations as I keyboard this entry here, in fact, I've been hanging statically here for quite a few weeks.. I cannot seem to focus & makeup my mind, my thoughts & ideas are loose threads with unknotted ends, just hanging there in the air with no direction, no shape, & no form. I love being in control, of myself most of all -- but my stubborn wild self seems to be most impossible to tame these days, ..a never-ending battle of the mind & the heart: which one must I relinquish? I don't know. Nonetheless, Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple -& a very inspirational character in my books- knows a thing or two on how to resolve the important-decision-dilemma. When faced with big life-altering decisions; Steve asks himself his signature question: "What would I do if this was the last day of my life?" I read somewhere that Steve was giving a university speech when his eye caught a girl from his audience that instantly stirred up his interest. Once the speech was over, he stepped down the podium & walked up to her and got her number.. He wanted to take her out for dinner that same night, but was committed to a business meeting that evening. As he walked out of the building, Steve says that he asked himself the question: what would I do if this was the last day of my life? As you may have already guessed, he walked back to the auditorium to find the girl who would become his wife & took her out to dinner -- they've been together ever since. Impulse decisions. I could think of a thousand & one reasons why they're so impractical, & why adopting them could possibly buy us an express ticket to regret-ville.. But I can also see how this question helps us know that which "we" want, without the influence of external factors. It enables us to disassociate from our environment; which influences our decisions in many ways. Our decisions are often influenced by friends, family (how they would feel about such, & such..), they're impregnated by the collective thinking of our society, & our perception of its expectations. I tried to put Steve's mental framework into application gradually. Initially, I was too reluctant to adopt it for big decisions.. I'd like to think I'm a spontaneous free spirit in every sense; but no. Sorry. Substantial matters mean that they're of significant importance to me, which means that if they go wrong; it is possible that I live everyday of the rest of my life regretting exerting minimum calculating-effort into my decision. Nonetheless, when you start to clearly notice that despite the fact that you've spent your entire life basing your decisions on rational thinking; some things 'just' go wrong & take steep disastrous turns.. & there isn't anything you can do about it except learn from your mistakes, & make better judgements in the future.. And, well, perhaps look at the brighter side & perceive them as the gifts of life, opportunities to make you learn something new. I learned two new things over the past few weeks: 1) From Steve I learned to close my eyes & take that leap of faith, trust my instinct more, be less risk-averse, & calculate less. The concept of impermanence cushioned my naturally concerned conscious, it is the main success driver of this mindset.. Once you've come to utterly believe & accept the fact that everything in life is bound to change; & that no amount of happiness nor misery will last forever; you'll realize that there's no harm in riding the waves of uncertainty, for, the only constants in life are two: Change, & Death. ... 2) The second lesson I learned from horses, whilst cantering in a garden of neem trees lazily hanging on both sides of the road. I enjoy slow cantering, it enables me to maximize the utility of riding for pleasure. The morning breeze, the scenery, & her hair splintering the light in rhythm.. those were the images I was trying to capture & send to my permanent memory. On the contrary, she finds pleasure in fast cantering & galloping -- no matter how strongly I pull the reins, she stubbornly pushes her neck & head farther demanding a looser grip. Given Einstein's law of relativity; she won, of course. This was what I thought: I wanted to enjoy the garden my way, & she wanted to enjoy it too -in her own way. I decided to loosen the reins, & let her indulge in the garden as she pleased. It wasn't such a bad idea after all, for, the experience was liberating for the two of us.. She addressed her "I want to be wild & free" matter, while I addressed my dominant-control-freak issues {I didn't have another choice really lol} Horses are beautiful creatures with so much strength, they demand significantly more effort to maintain, they walk tall & vain. From them; I learned how to reclaim my freedom, with all the world possess's of beauty & grace. Run wild & free, independent of unpredictable terrains & clouds that you can never pin down. No bow-downs, no compromise. Live gracefully without getting trapped in dogma, ..without compromising your happiness to what a collective group of people -society- perceives & enshrines as 'the norm' -- be honest to yourself & pursue what "you" want, instead of what others want you to course. Pursue that which you believe you deserve, & it will be yours. And finally, be the best person you can ever be, everyday. Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device Labels: Personal Philosophy, Pony Tales Altruistic Success - "Why do you insist? Why do you want to do this so badly? Are you not busy enough at your current job?", he asked. I looked at him for a moment, struggling to channel my scattered thoughts constructively, ..how do I explain to him my overwhelming workload? How do I explain to him the discipline of rising at 4:00 am every single day to do the activities I am unable to do at other times? How do I illustrate to him the fact that I would have to endure a 320km drive 2 days of every week just to be here, at these premises, doing something fruitful with my time... That by choosing to do this; I would have two of my meals on-the-go, leave work on time, & crop-out one hour of sleep every day. All willfully done, for, I do not perceive this as work, not at all, ..rather, it is food for my ever-so-thirsty soul.. & I am one with a big apetite. - "Success is what I want, for myself & others. One of the many ways to receive success, is give others the opportunity to experience it. Despite the fact that there's still plenty out there for me to learn, I understand that I have invested time, effort, & energy into becoming the person that I am today.. & I want to be able to pass that on to others, to make it easier for them to learn all that I have learned on my own, to make it more accessible to those who lack the opportunity & the right setting.. & certainly make it a more human & less lonely experience for them." The truth is, what I do for a living inflames & satisfies my burning ambition to create, to fulfill my career potential, & gives me the opportunity to make my rich government richer. I enjoy observing what becomes of my effort & that of many other individuals who thrive upon its rippling effect; forming massive circles in the vicinity of this economy.. but that alone -for me- is not success. As a human, I need more. As an individual that is part of a society, I need more. As myself, I need even more. I need a more personal experience, I need to be physically close to the object of my attention.. Seed it & watch it grow. -"You understand that no one has done this before.. We do not have a policy allowing individuals the opportunity to be part of us, don't you?" -"Yes, of course, I know. But I would still impose upon your kind nature, I still believe that if you really knew me, if you really knew what I'm capable of & how much I want this, you would not deny me this opportunity." ..my voice took a low, & deep tone as I uttered those words. -"The process may take time, we'll have to collect your personal details, along with a copy of your passport & and have it approved by the concerned authority.. I won't be able to give you an answer immediately." It was not the inability of verbalizing my thoughts that deterred me from voicing them out to him, but rather the doubt that he would understand.. I wasn't sure he would be able relate to this feeling I have, & form a sense of how important this is to me. His reply indicated a hurdle, a barrier that would restrain me from materializing a wish I had been wanting to manifest.. It triggered the alarms of my conscious, was I going to just bow down & accept? Was I going to let him, or anyone else, tell me what I can or cannot do? ..was "No" even an option? - "I won't take no for an answer, & I am not leaving these premises before I am authorized to do this. Standing before you is a person who is able, willing, & wanting.. Do not deny me the right to this. Summon them decision makers, & if that is not possible, reach them by phone -please. I would like them to hear it from me.." I hestitated before unleashing the rest of my words, ..'This is it' I thought to myself, 'its either now or never..'. I started speaking, and my voice trembled.. I spoke, & spoke without a stop.. hoping he would notice a fraction of the stream of hope gleaming through my eyes awaiting his nod of approval. And he listened. He listened without interruptions, his face glistering with a hint of understanding that drew the full-stop to my conversation. "How is it that one at your age, with your sheltered background speaks the logic of a 40-year old?" -- his question took me back in time to a painful conversation I had 5 years ago.. I pushed the thought away as fast as I could, & refocused my attention back to him.. Here I was, negotiating a selfless act of pure, genuine love, & putting everything I can into it.. Why wasn't my conversation going anywhere? ...
I melted. That was the point where every nerve in me spelt undeniable true purpose. It was unconcealable.. Not even from him. -"This is going to be an exceptional case, I do not want to be the person to deny you this. I only wish there were 5 more of you out there.." --his words drew a smile of satisfaction that I had only experiencd twice: The fist was when our school principal read out loud my 'O' levels results, & the second was when I stepped down the stage holding my masters degree in the palm of my hands. In my mind, this is success. The abundance that lies behind challenge. It is the 50/50 score of your 9mm pistol in a 15-meters range.. Its that balance of career success, the extension of humane character, & the gifting of your genuine emotions of love to those who are truly worthy of it. This is how I perceive it, Success. And this is how I picture the world in my own universe -- perfection.
Labels: Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Glow ..Unlike her, she brought me a piece of music. "I thought you'd like this" she said. It was a CD, with a distinguished yellow cover. Only a couple of weeks ago I had received an identical one as a gift from the one person that had known me better than anybody else has. Since then, the CD has been a preferred resident of the single CD-player of my car, ..& when the tracks shuffle, almost instictively, Caramel playes back track #10 for me, ..its a favorite. I mooned listening to the music goading me to think of the citizen of my mental lodge.. and in my head, I asked questions.. many questions, endless questions about then, & now. The monochromatic answer that always turned out to be right was: Nothing remains the same. Impermanence. Nothing ever lasts. Not even this, the way I am feeling now; it is bound to come to an end, and I want the end to be: Now. I recognized that I could not afford the luxury of negative thoughts, not even one. I elected to grow up, to rise above the residuum of being a hostage of my emotions. Laconically, in my magenta book of secrets, I put together 2 lists: a list of strewen bits & pieces of the small things that make me happy.. & an idyllic coalescence of the things I've learned -over months- from that who occupied the greater part of my conscious, & subconscious too: the exotic tutelage of my peerless source of inspiration, he who trots the globe in search for meaning, for an answer to that compelling curiosity about life, & for meritable glee. ... The shower-head poured cool water on my face, under which I remained standing still for much longer than usual, as if by doing so, by exposing every inch of me to it, I would distill myself from those fermenting blocks of thoughts, that I would finally evict my mind from every occupant.. No matter how stubbornly they cling to my conscious. ..& I did, for several minutes. I sealed my hair with an air of Chanel No.5's hair-scent, lit some candles, & threw a cushion on the floor of my bedroom.. this time, I was able to meditate for 20 minutes with nothing in my head except the sound of my breathing, inhaling & exhaling a chestful of air lightly tinctured with peace. ..This time I was also able to sleep for 9 hours with no more than 2 interruptions. It felt good, ..really good. I want more.
Labels: Daily, Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Dynamism  ..I love you too  I still want to see you    The norm: by 9:00 pm i've already slipped under my pillow-sprayed scented sheets, twiggling my toes as I attempt to solo-tuck them under my duvet & ready to break free into a world where I am utterly in my element.. Exceptional: this evening, it's already past nine.. the freshly picked jasmines my mum had sprinkled on my bed failed to hypnotise me, ..instead, i opted for Jehro's 'All I Want' & george michael's 'This is not real love' playing in the background as i dress them finger nails with Chanel's english rose -- & i don't give two cents how unprofessional this would look tomorrow at work.. the truth is, i stopped caring for many things, ..& many people. I have zero-tolerance for time-wasting anythings, I no longer invest time nor effort in helping the helpless, ..those who cannot help themselves, the kind of friendships that drain you out, consume you mentally & emotionally, i'm sorry but i no longer provide emotional baby-sitting for anyone, I could recommend a therapist or two nonetheless. I was never one to favor quantity over quality, ..it's always been quality to me, ..it's just that now quality alone is hardly enough.. the friendship filter has been upgraded to process premium quality.. & I have it in my life, i've had it for 10 years, & although we're physically so far apart, I know that what we have is truly genuine.. the kind of friendship where i could go on for months with no form of communication & call next day, and talk like it's only been hours since our last conversation. I miss having that in my everyday life, but knowing it's somewhere out there is enough -- the semi-annual get togethers is what i really look forward to. Next friday, that is. I also stopped caring for spending needless endless time pondering upon my future in my head, i may not see the full staircase, but i'm certainly able to see the next couple of steps.. so take things one step at a time, & enjoy a life for which i've developed an uncanny love for. How? I wake up at 5:00 AM everyday, & retire to bed between 8:30-9:00, spend the first 10 minutes after waking up gazing at my wall of inspiration, .everything i love is pinned on that wall, ..my heart pounds at all of those visuals as i rise to my feet in the morning. I made it a habit to exercise/favored activity before going to work, spend only required time at work {i used to go out of my way, waaay out of my way to get things done right here & now -- that's no more}, & more importantly, I spend more time doing the things i love, & enjoy.. Utilize every possible bit of extra time doing mind-fruiting things; i like to read on the way to work, in the elevator, on highways & waiting for my turn at the chiropractic.. when there's no book present, or when stuck in a useless low-value meeting of some company desperately marketing its services, reach out to your blackberry, lift one eyebrow in a capital 'A' shape, lower the other & look really concered whilst you hammer your bb keyboard like you're answering a really important email - when essentially, you're surfing the web for whatever interests you, or reading an RSS feed of your favorite blogs. Think of time as your greatest long-term investment. Do anything, just don't waste it. Labels: Daily, Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Open Doors      So, on my last post I promised to tell you about the door that opened: My graduation.I am now a proud holder of an Executive Masters in Business Administration (EMBA), & whilst the ceremony is hardly a validation of intellectual substance; I certainly enjoyed every second of it.. especially taking in consideration that my dad -who has never attended a graduation ceremony of any of my 7 brothers before- was present, several brothers were present too. To me, that was the best part of the whole thing.. stretching my neck every few minutes to escelate my eye-sight to catch a glimpse of that look in their eyes: i'll call it pride. ..& NO, you won't see me in the newspapers because I did not take part in the group photo with Shk.Nahyan =Pp The strange thing is that now that i'm done with this degree, I have this lingering desire to pursue another.. at times, I think i want to focus on CFA, ..other times i think of starting a second master's degree in September, in Finance specializing in portfolio management this time.. & some times i think of enrolling for a year of MPhil in the UK {that would require a lottttttttttt of pursuasion + a looootttttt of fluttering my eyelashes @ my parents, & not even then would I be certain they'd say okay, but no harm in trying, no?}.. my 'next marathon' thoughts are volatile, & fluctuate hundreds of times every day, but irrelevant to any of them; one solid thing i know i want: i'd like to start a family. ..& when i say a family, i mean the 'right kind', the good kind.. the rare kind that happens to the very few of us who have good intentions & actually put an effort into structuring that family.. starting from choosing the right spouse, down to picking the right institutions to school your children -the whole package. You know how they say "marriages require compromise"? well, ..I won't compromise, & I don't want to compromise - i'm not interested in that. But before you jump into your own conclusions on how rigid & inflexible i might be.. let me tell you the reason behind me rejecting the notion. A couple of months ago, I had this conversation with someone who stimulates my intellect {very rare thing}, we talked about 'choosing right' for your type, in other words: choosing the right long-term partner {i like refering to marriage as a long-term partnership}, & the discussion provoked the 'compatibility theory' in my head, ..so.. this is going to be long, but interesting for those of you who enjoy breaking out of the shackles of conventionality. You're only forced to make a compromise if you're in a relation with a mismatch.Most of us would be surprised at how little we know about ourselves.. It is important for us to know ourselves very well before attempting to know other people.. different people identify differently to things, what matters to you may not necessarily be important to me, & what i perceive as important, may not be perceived as such at your side. So, before venturing into any relationship, you must: 1. Identify your center 2. Know your potential partner's center By 'center' i mean that you identify what you perceive as the center of your life? What is important to you? What are your priorities? Your center is basically the thing you do/have that makes you feel good about yourself, to feel secure & comfortable in your skin.. if you stop doing it, you feel a gap of emptiness, feel a void that you must fill with something. Different people have different centers.. there are those who are work-centered, they identify themselves by the role they play in their organizations, and how much they achieve.. their happiness is closely tied to their output & their ranks. There are others who are pleasure-centered, they feel secure only when they're riding the high of pleasure, regardless the source. There are some of us who are possession-centered, their self-esteem is derived by the things they own/have, social status, constantly comparing oneself to others; everything is assessed and valued in relevance to what others' reputation, etc etc.. And, there are those who derive their security from the way their spouse treats them, those are the partner-centered people. Work-centered people -for example- derive their happiness from achieving, from rising up the ladder, from creating, from accomplishing something grand. Those are the kind of people who'll plan a 2-week vacation to take their family, & end up spending just 2 days with them, fly out for a meeting, & conference-call the kids and spouse over dinner.. I believe that a lot of men sit into this category, at least more men than women in general. Meanwhile, a lot of women sit in the other category. The partner-centered. Their security is more often than not derived from the way their partner/spouse treats them, many experience signs of withdrawal {or conflict in some cases} when their partner appears idol, or does not generally agree with their views {lack of common grounds}. they're often emotionally vulnerable. The reason why i said many women sit in this category is that -by nature- most women have a tender emotional side to them, even the educated ones. It takes a LOT of objectivism and strength to break out of the emotional mold. Can you imagine a work-centered man marrying a partner-centered woman? -A recipe for disaster. It's a mismatch that would require either one, or both parties to compromise. So seriously, why compromise when you can synergize? All you have to do is choose right for your type. My type is rare. very rare. Labels: Life Events, Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Soundtrack of my life Decades ago, Someone invented dinner-plate sized black discs that when inserted in a special associated device; can generate the sound of your favorite music, in other words, record players. The invention soon became a popular one & found its way to the homes of many. Decades later, I happen to be one of the 'many'. Just about every ipod version out there found its way to my pocket, the invasion stretched a little further.. 1 for the room, 1 for the studio, 1 for the car, 1 for the bath-tub, ..& the list goes on. But my favorite just yet is the tiniest of all, the ipod shuffle. Little miss ipod shuffle -in many ways- is anorexic. Its flat, light, & holds a couple of hundred songs. She also masters the art of clinging.. She clings to my silk kimono sleeping robe every morning as I get ready to go to work, & clings to the side of my bath curtains as I soak myself after a long day. She enjoyes clinging to my birkin whilst skipping around tokyo, & even holds on to my abaya as I walk into the office every mOrning; motivating me through one more day.. Aside from the fact that music triggers brain nerves inducing that nostalgic feeling when recalling memories associated with it, it is undoubtly a grrrreat motivational tool. Today, on my ipod there are about 6000 audio files, & I have no less than 25 playlists.. The 5 stars, the 4 stars, the arabic, the ethnic, & the yadda-yadda.. Its all there, but the most important of all, the most precious of all is the Soundtrack of my Life. Like the name suggests, this list holds music that -no matter how old, moldy, & rusty- I would always listen to, never get sick of, & tell the story of my life. Its populated with just about every genere out there, the mellow, the fluttery, the electric, & acoustic.. Disney's sleeping beauty Once Upon a Dream, utada hikaru's first love, fadel shakir's kent emfakkir, fairuz's sa'aloony elnass, sintra's fly me to the moon, & madonna's true blue are amongst the 200+ audio files I have on the soundtrack of my life. I love, love, LOVE waking up in the mOrning & playing Hallili by cheb mami, & "Sara" by Mohammed Abdu whilst getting dressed, ..or Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah" when in a mellow mood, Madeleine Peyroux's "back in your backyard", & jack johnson's lullaby in bed... To me, its like I'm creating my own life-movie, & living it one day at a time.. with my soundtrack playing in the background... So, let me spread the love & share with you a few of those pieces.. My latest additions to the list: In the shower I sing: Mellow evenings I listen to:
xx Labels: Birkin, Hermes, Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Wall of Aspirations ..& inspirations. For as long as I remember; I've utilized vertical flat surfaces to hold inspirational thoughts, visuals, & words.. Things that I find interesting; or things I'd like to be, & have in my life. Back in highschool; the vertical flat surface was the insides of my closet doors, things like small drawings, scribbles, & 'O' Levels aspired grades all found their way to those doors. In other rare occasions; ink-jet printed photos of Enrique Iglesias too. I was never able to explain the habit, in fact; never consumed any thoughts on why was I doing that, all I knew was that it felt good. It felt good when I'd open my closet every morning to reach out to my school uniform & take a glimpse of things I liked. It made me happy. And over the years, the habit hasn't changed; only took different shapes & looks, and with growing up comes bigger dreams & bigger closets. My walk-in has no doors, & would not hold my aspirations nor inspirations any longer. I opetd for segregating the two: 1) book of inspirations, & 2) wall of aspirations. The book of inspirations is a little magenta leather-bound notebook that I use to record ideas, thoughts, & inspirations. It also holds laser-jet printed photos, & my silly {but e'hum, cute of course} photo-booth pictures i took in Tokyo. The person who gifted me this notebook likes to call it "PhD in a can". And whilst one can merely compare it to the actual degree; it certainly holds my almost-brilliant ideas, most of them. The first thing I see in the morning, & the last before going to bed is my wall of aspirations. Stretched from one end of the room to the other, the wall is mounted with ego-massaging post-its, funny quotes, maps, polaroids & photos of louboutins, crocodile birkins, eiffel tower, & other places my prince charming & I will go to =) Seeing those snippits & clippings first thing as I hop out bed to go to work in the morning, or as I lazily peek out from under the pillow on a weekend; it draws a smile on my face, & it makes me happy. Really happy =D Now tell me, what do -you- do with your inspirations & aspirations? xx
Labels: Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post Fungus in my head  sipping my cuppa tea @ wOrk  no where close, haha. e'hum... long lost studio key chain works as an ego boots *lol*   ..painting in progress   ..where the magic happens  '30 Faces, in 30 Days' -- I started this painting way back in 2003, never got into the mood to complete it, ..i started working on it again, this time, with a better mindset, a clearer vision.. & although the faces do not reflect what i'm feeling now in anyway, i felt that this painting would stand a good chance of being showcased in a gallery {whenever, if ever}, ..plus, i owe it to myself. Still got the details layer to add.  ..when food is scarce in the studio, CUP NOODLES to the rescuuuuuuuuueee *lol*  *muah muah*  *paks again..*  ..for a day. first thing early in the morning is my ideal time to make a post, that's because awl sort of ideas start mushrooming in me head. Ive noticed over the past few weeks that ideas, discussions, & things i'd rrrrrreally want to share with the rest of you come to mind when: 01. i take my morning shower 02. i look @ me self in the mirror 03. i brush me hair 04. my project manager asks me if i'd like to share a cheese sandwich with him. In the last example in particular, i can almost visualize a bubble forming on top of my head, & there, inside that bubble, i see me self at me desk munching on and hoooovering that yummilicous cheese sandwich whilst sipping saffron infused tea, & hammering my keyboard making a blog entry. ..but of course. In reality, that is never the case. So instead, i plug my ipod headphones into my ears, & continue with the piece of report or presentation that I have due next. This entry is going to be long, so if you're in the mood for reading absolute randomness from some random person, be my guest.. but may I suggest a warm drink first? perhaps a cuppa coffee, or tea, ..or even better: hot chocolate. During the past three days, I've been stationed in bed courtesy of a feverish flu, as you can guess, I had plennnnnty of time to think, & verrrryyyyy little energy to write, or even step out of bed for that matter. The sedative the doctor prescribed me -to *insure* I do not go to work- wuZz like fungus in my head, it opened up sides of my brain that I never knew existed. & like the analytical freak that I am, I started analysing everything, to the point of 'analysis paralysis' -- so, one of the many, many thoughts and questions that populated my mind was: Why do girls often feel that marriage would solve their life-long problems? Of course, this is a general view based on my own personal extent of communication with elements of society around me, & leaving the minorities aside, I can comfortably say that this view applies to the majority of girls I have come across. Don't get me wrong, I -too- dream of my Prince Charming, but in my head, my prince charming stands for many things, ..& if it isn't him, it's none. At the mention of this, I could almost hear my mum & sister's voices in the back of my head on 'repeat' saying "Your Prince Charming does NOT exist, ..not in this culture at least", ..& in my head, i silently answer "AHA! so he doesssss exist!" *lol* ...but still, i -don't- believe that marriage itself solves problems or creates less of them, if anything at all, it's a commitment that can grow to become this unbearable responsibility should you end up with a mismatch. And no, love is not the answer. It certainly helps jump start a marriage, but It is not the most important thing for a successful marriage, you can lable me with awl webster's synonyms for unemotional, but technically speaking, no matter how dipped in love you are with a person, the passion fades away 2-3 years into a marriage, & awl you're left with is care, gennnnnnuine care for a person you shared lifetime experiences with, & of course, conversation. If one can't have a conversation with a person, how can one have a long-term relationship with him/her? be it marriage, friendship, etc. In this part of the world, girls are encouraged to venture into the supposedly golden gates of marriage at an early age, perhaps that worked well a decade or two ago, but like any good generation differentiator, the former generation just doesn't get it. We're different. What worked for them once upon a dusty moon may not necessarily work for us. We were raised in the information revolution, there's more information floating around than we could ever absorb, and most importantly, we -know- our options, and alternatives. What i wanted & visualized as an ideal life when I was 18 is certainly not what I want now {actually I can't imagine being THAT shallow & naïve, ..sad but true} ..& what i know that -most prolly-wut I want now may not necessarily be what i'd want at 35.. but i'm also rational enough to make the most out of my options in the 'here & now' without settling for less. No girl should feel the urge to settle for the next best thing, ..if you believe that you deserve it, behave like it, & you'll have it sooner or later. In our lives we'll alwayZz be put in situations where what we get may appear unfair and less worthy of us, but one thing i know for a fact is true: life is fair.In the end, we all get what we deserve. always. "At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fates." That’s the world’s greatest lie.Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Labels: Personal Philosophy $0 in my moola box | link | email this post |
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